Casual relationship
A casual relationship (also referred to as a friend with benefits or the more vulgar fuck buddy) is a term used to describe the physical and emotional relationship between two unmarried people who engage in uncommitted sex acts. The intent is generally to relieve sexual frustrations through an alternative to masturbation, and is not intended as a romantic relationship. Both parties are free to date and engage in sex acts with other persons. This type of a relationship effectively gives the people involved an outlet for their sexual urges without the potential stress and time-demands of a committed relationship. Two people may elect to become friends with benefits because they are unwilling to commit to a full-fledged relationship for whatever reason.
Popularised in recent years by the US sitcom Sex and the City, this sort of relationship is commonly portrayed as a relatively new phenomenon, but it is not clear as to whether this "newness" applied to the term "friends with benefits" was actually predated by similar yet more secretive arrangements and phrases. These relationships are associated with younger people (early teenagers), and are often seen as a way to enjoy the benefits of sexual activities without the emotional strings of a romantic relationship.
According to many teens, these relationships have been going on for some time, and it is estimated that at least 32% of people over 13 have had such an experience. While providing a sexual outlet for some people, the practice is still socially associated with negative connotations. In teenage relationships, the predominant activity is not traditional intercourse sex, but rather oral sex. Many teenagers believe that this reduces the risks associated with sexual promiscuity such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Some medical authorities such as Bonnie Halpern-Felsher, a professor of pediatrics at the University of California at San Francisco, suggests that teenagers do not view oral sex as "real sex" and use it to remain in a state of technical virginity. [1]
This arrangement is particularly common among young professionals, who put a lot of their free time into their work and therefore don't have time for a "proper" boyfriend or girlfriend. It also allows people who have excellent sexual chemistry to enjoy each other, even if they don't click on other levels.
Criticisms
Many people are critical of the nature of these relationships, alleging that it is impossible to engage in sexual behaviours without any kind of emotions at all. However, the practitioners feel this is somewhat of a non-issue. Participants take the viewpoint that the physical "relationship" alone is fine, although if something grows out of it, then so be it. However, the major cause for the breakdown of casual relationships is when one party starts to develop a romantic attachment to the other. In the instance where both parties start to feel this way, a traditional relationship may develop. However, when these feelings are unrequited, it can lead to jealousy, feelings of betrayal or feelings of being used.
It is also alleged that these sort of relationships are commonly male-dominated and oriented, with the female existing mostly as a sex-object for the male's gratification. This calls into question whether the females are using sex to gain the illusion of affection, avoid loneliness, or perhaps as a stress release. This theory also fails to take into account that many bisexual or lesbian women will participate in these sorts of relationships with each other, hence, these relationships can happen with no male participation at all.
The concept of a casual relationship is not in accordance with traditional moral values, particularly religious values, and is generally frowned upon by the traditionally more conservative older generation. However, the phenomenon has yet to penetrate very deeply into the public consciousness and so the kind of large scale backlash by religious groups that one might expect has yet to appear.